If you’re anything like I was, hearing the name “Jesus” might make you want to roll your eyes or click away. I get it—trust me, I’ve been there. For the longest time, Christianity felt like a strange, distant thing. I had endless questions, countless doubts, and honestly, a lot of walls up. Deep down, though, I was searching for something real—peace, hope, and a sense of belonging. But Jesus? That didn’t even cross my mind.

Let me back up a little. My story, like so many others, started with heartache. Depression, anxiety, a broken family, and that heavy feeling of being completely lost. It felt like I was stuck in a fog, wondering if life would ever feel full or if this emptiness was just how it was going to be. My teenage years and early adulthood were messy and hard, filled with moments where I just wanted to feel something.

One day, in the midst of all the chaos, I found myself heartbroken and crying on my mom’s couch. Scrolling through Netflix, I came across Eat, Pray, Love. The description caught my eye: “Elizabeth ‘Liz’ Gilbert (Julia Roberts) is a recently divorced woman who feels lost and trapped in her life. She decides to travel to Italy, India, and Bali to rediscover herself and find meaning.” Intrigued, I hit play, and as the story unfolded, it felt like I was watching my own life on screen.

A woman who, on the outside, seemed like she had it all together but, on the inside, was broken and starving—for healing, for love, for God. And maybe, just maybe, for pasta, true love, and Jesus too.

I remember the moment Liz knelt to God, begging Him to show her what to do. It struck something deep in me. I found myself doing the exact same thing—falling to my knees, pouring my heart out, and asking God to guide me. In that vulnerable moment, I felt it: a nudge telling me to go.

So, I did.

Just like Liz, my Eat, Pray, Love journey began. But instead of Italy, India, and Bali, I went to Arizona, California, and Ecuador. I ate, prayed, and loved my heart out, convinced that somewhere along the way, I’d find what I was looking for—peace, healing, and maybe even God.

I became the girl sitting in ashrams, participating in cacao ceremonies, and endlessly studying spirituality and philosophy. I was searching, chasing after anything that promised peace or answers, not knowing that all along, I was really just a girl searching for God.

I explored new cultures, learned languages, and tried every spiritual practice you can imagine. More ceremonies, psychedelics, and communities that promised answers. But no matter how far I traveled or what I tried, the emptiness inside remained.

Over time, though, I started to recognize something. I saw Him in the kindness of strangers, in the beauty of nature, and in the small things in my life that felt too big to be coincidences. He was speaking to me all along. He was there—I just didn’t know it was Him at the time.

One day, in a small mountain town in Ecuador called Baños de Agua Santa—“Baths of Holy Water” (God is always in the details)—I stumbled into a little restaurant where I’d eat lunch for $2.50. On the wall was a mural of Jesus standing in front of a waterfall, His arms open wide.

And there it was. I saw Him—not the Jesus I thought I knew, but the Jesus I’d been unknowingly searching for. Gentle. Kind. Loving. It was like He reached right into my mess, looked at me, and said, “I’m here.”

That moment changed everything. Slowly, like pieces of a puzzle falling into place, I began to see that God had been there all along, patiently waiting for me to notice. He spoke to me in ways only I could understand—through quiet whispers, small miracles, and tender moments I couldn’t ignore.

It wasn’t loud or dramatic. It was simple, personal, and deeply real. And I realized it wasn’t about religion or rules. It was about relationship.

For so long, I’d been trying to fill that God-sized hole in my heart with everything but Him. But His love—gentle, constant, patient, and unconditional—was the only thing that could.

There’s a verse, Jeremiah 29:13, that says, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” That was me. I was seeking, searching, and trying everything. And when I finally opened my heart, even just a little, Jesus met me right there in the middle of my mess.

Looking back now, I can hardly believe how much has changed. I went from the girl who would roll her eyes at “religion” to someone who loves Jesus with her whole heart. Life with Him is so full—full of purpose, peace, and a love that I never thought was possible. It’s not just about faith; it’s about a relationship that makes everything in life richer and more meaningful. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Finding Jesus didn’t make my life magically perfect. I still have struggles, questions, and hard days. But now I have peace. I have purpose. And I know, deep in my soul, that I am loved just as I am.

If you’re feeling lost, unsure, or weighed down, know this: you’re not alone. That ache in your heart, the questions that keep you up at night? They’re an invitation. God’s love is bigger than your doubts, your past, and your pain. He speaks to each of us in ways only we can understand because He knows us—every messy, beautiful, complicated part of us.

So wherever you are on your journey, don’t give up. Keep seeking, keep asking, and keep your heart open. God has a way of meeting us in the most unexpected places, and His love is waiting for you, too.

I totally get it if the whole “Jesus thing” still makes you want to roll your eyes—I’ve been there. But it’s my prayer that if you’re still here, He touches your heart and comes into your life. He is here, He is alive, He is patient, and He is so, so good. I’d never want to push my beliefs onto anyone, but there is so much joy in this life that I can’t help but want to share it. I’m so, so happy you’re here. Praise Jesus.